Soka Gakkai: A Love Story

Introduction

Today, I'm going to tell you a love story - mine. I was head over heels in love with a fellow member of the SGI (Soka Gakkai International). This is a lay Buddhist organization headquartered in Japan, which can claim at most about one out of every 1,000 in the USA as members.

I want to share my love story, since it helps illustrate a lot about SGI Buddhism that you won't find in any theological writings. This, perhaps inadvertently, illustrates a prime SGI principle: "Buddhism equals daily life."

It is said the Buddha used many expedient means in order to introduce living beings to Buddhist teachings. I hope the power of gossip (which this tale might end up inspiring) will prove to be such a means in my quest to shake things up here in Chicago, the scene of what I'm about to share.


The Principals

These five are the principals (whose real first names I am citing), all fellow SGI members of long standing (for over 20 years), who were involved in this drama in the last half of 2002:

• Marilyn - my SGI district chief, the object of my unrequited love, at the time informally separated from her husband;

• Steve - that's me (informally separated from my wife), one of five roommates who paid rent to Marilyn to live in a house she was trying to buy;

• Stan - a men's division leader;

• Mark - my chapter's Men's Division leader (two or more districts - the smallest unit - make up a chapter);

• Kathy - Mark's wife, who was my chapter chief.

Many Chicago-area SGI members came to know about my wish to win Marilyn's heart. But, after all was said and done, not a single one spoke to me about this. I didn't get any advice, guidance (except once, briefly, which I'll detail below), or even a willingness to be a good listener. I have found this to be typical of SGI members, at least in my personal experience - that is, they don't engage their fellow members in more than superficial conversation. And if I would have sought guidance from some senior leader, I'm sure he would have just "encouraged" me to chant about this.

This silence is ironic since SGI prides itself on hosting weekly "discussion" meetings in order to promote its brand of Buddhism. But...there's never any discussion - only the most basic, general type of religious material gets covered. Not to mention: SGI once dubbed one year in particular (can't recall which one) as the Year of Dialog and Friendship. In my 20+ years with the Soka Gakkai, I can't say I ever had one member who was a friend nor can I remember much in the way of dialog. Dialog seemed to make my fellow members nervous, especially the things that I would bring up.


Background

In May of 2001, I moved out of my home of 21 years and into Marilyn's house. She heard I was leaving my wife and offered me a room in this house she was trying to buy. I would be the fifth adult to share this space. For that first year, all of us got along fairly well. Since Marilyn (who I had known for several years) was my district chief, we held weekly SGI meetings in her living room, which I (as in the past) enthusiastically attended.

During the summer of 2002, Marilyn went on a vacation to Europe as a guest of the guy she was currently dating, some millionaire who had retired at a young age. This trip was to last for several months. During that summer, Stan and Mark paid me a home visit - or HV as it's known among SGI members. This is basically a visit during which members will chant together and try to encourage the visited person in the development of his faith.

After we chanted, we chatted and the subject of Marilyn came up. One of the guys - can't remember which one - asked, "You love her, don't you?" I admitted I did, but had no thought of pursuing a relationship. Long story, short? Both of them encouraged me to pursue her. I was hesitant, since I knew her to be far more materialistic than I was. She even told me, "I'm going to be rich, someday." Whereas, my heart was closer to the tradition of the world-renouncing, homeless brother monks.

But Stan and Mark were undaunted in their encouragement, even reminding me that I had a secret weapon at my disposal - the Gohonzon. That's a sacred scroll each member has enshrined in his home, at which he can direct his prayers. Which of course will come true. Oh, wait...that was old SGI doctrine. The current variation is: "Chant for your heart's desire. You'll either get it, get something better, or lose the desire for it - but not in a bitter, sour grapes kind of way."

After they left, I chanted about this and mulled over in my mind what I should do. I decided, as the expression goes, "to go for it."


Going for it

Marilyn would be returning from Europe in a few weeks, sometime in September. So I sent her an e-mail expressing my feelings for her. That might sound impersonal, and I have to admit it is. However, I had practical reasons for doing this: I wanted her to know how I felt and to mull it over while abroad. Also, I knew her to be difficult to approach one-on-one, simply because she seemed to always end up being swallowed up in the myriad activities that made up her personal life. Anyway, I'm a firm believer in putting one's cards on the table.

Marilyn did answer my e-mail about two weeks later, mostly expressing surprise. She didn't check her email every day since, as it turned out, she was caught up in the whirlwind of her boyfriend's road trip on the continent. Meanwhile, I made two decisions: I would chant two hours per day for a successful courtship and I would write her an on-going letter expressing my feelings. That letter ended up consisting of 500 handwritten pages of 8.5x11" paper. I had showed her this opus but never gave it to her, since she never asked for it. With one exception: On one occasion, I gave her about a dozen of its pages which she accepted but never responded to. As for the rest of it? After I moved away from Marilyn's house, about six years later I lived with another roommate who destroyed it.

At that time, I didn't care. And that particular roommate is someone who is still a good friend of mine to this day, although she now lives in another state. And, no, we were never romantically involved.

I maintained my two-hour chanting campaign every day without fail for five months - that is, only until realizing I had failed in my quest after moving out in January of 2003.


My courtship

When Marilyn returned, she didn't even acknowledge my feelings. In fact, during the next five months, we scarcely spoke at all. Part of that was due to a whole lot of drama that hit her all at once upon her return. She found out she was the victim of credit card fraud, which was traumatic since it was pretty obvious that two people we knew had committed this massive shopping spree. They didn't end up going to jail and, in fact, Marilyn never confronted them about this. She was just happy the credit card company voided the charges, so she didn't have to pay.

I was satisfied to let her come to me. She knew how I felt, and I didn't want to turn into this overbearing presence demanding answers. We lived in the same space and I wanted to give her as much space as possible, so I didn't go out of my way to force conversation. Yes, we still chanted together, since I was still a member of her district. But that was business - a noble calling we were both committed to.

Not long after her return, it turns out her millionaire boyfriend dumped her. She was devastated, and I told her I was sorry things turned out so badly. But I didn't make any overtures, except one. Weeks later, I invited her to see a movie with me - Amelie, starring Audrey Tautou. She accepted, but only after asking me if this was a date. Though I said "no," she must not have really believed me or didn't want to seem to encourage me, so she ended up canceling this outing. Too bad, it was a good movie. I saw it seven times while it played an extended run at Chicago's Landmark Century Theater multiplex.

To this day, I wonder if she ever got around to seeing this wonderful film.

Some time in November, 2002, I told Marilyn I would be moving out. We hadn't talked and I found that remaining there was too stressful for me. That's when she surprised me by saying, "If you move out now, you'll never have a chance with me." I asked, "Are you saying I have a chance?" And she answered "yes," but I knew deep down inside that was only part of the answer. The rest goes something like this: "The same chance as a snowball in hell."

At least I knew her motivation in saying I had a chance. She told me her financing for this house was precarious and she needed the rent money I was paying. I guess she felt she might not be able to get another roommate as rent-reliable as I was. After that exchange, we went back to our former status of barely talking. Looking back, I found her speechlessness surprising. She was involved in a co-counseling movement known as Reevaluation Counseling. And the purpose of that was to learn how to express your feelings and not be shy about doing so. I learned those lessons well enough myself, since I was also involved in RC at the time.


Toward the end of my courtship

In November of 2002, Kathy - who was chapter chief to both me and Marilyn - pulled me aside for a private chat. It's noteworthy to mention that Kathy's husband, Mark, never spoke to me about my efforts with Marilyn. And neither did Stan, though both of them had encouraged me during that fateful summer home visit to "go for it." I guess Mark and Kathy had a discussion about this and they decided she would be the one to speak to me.

I always liked Kathy, even though she was not the most sophisticated person I ever knew. She had grit, she had courage. She had confronted a gang banger, telling him in no uncertain words to stop trying to recruit her high school-aged son into a gang. I felt her faith was sincere, though it didn't involve asking any questions except - "What does the SGI leadership want me to do next?"

She asked me what my prayer was, and I said, "If I can't win Marilyn over, then I will devote all of my efforts to attaining Buddhahood." I was put off when she called that "a wimpy prayer." But I was only facing a rapidly dawning realization - that my efforts with Marilyn had all but completely failed. I wonder, though, what Kathy would have said if I had asked, "And what do you think a more appropriate, less wimpy prayer would be?"

It wasn't long after that, that I contacted a roommate referral service and moved out after finding a young banker working on his master's degree who needed a roommate. Steve turned out to be a pretty good match. Nice guy, but I hated how he beat me so easily in chess. So I ended up getting him a job teaching chess at the same summer school I'd taught in for over five summers. Steve taught the advanced class and I taught the beginners - all from eight to twelve years of age.


Aftermath

As fate would have it, I saw Marilyn only two more times over the following years. I stopped going to her district meetings, finding that too bitter a pill to swallow. The first time I saw her was at a party of SGI members, at which I avoided her like the plague. The second time: Within the last four years, she visited me in my office at Northeastern Illinois University at which she was a student. She appeared at my door, where I was the public face of the Media Services Department. And you know what? I didn't even recognize her. She was all peppy and cheerful in her demeanor but, as God is my witness, I didn't know who she was. When she asked, "Don't I get a hug?," I almost said, "Am I supposed to know who you are?"

She could tell I was clueless. Well, I gave her that hug after fumbling with an excuse, "You changed your hair." I had known her with straight, shoulder-length hair, though now it was in short, tight curls. I had seen an old photo of her in exactly the same hairstyle at her ex-husband's home, and I remembered thinking it wasn't a style I found attractive on her.

After our brief hug, she left - obviously downcast that I didn't even recognize her. But in my defense, she was the last person I ever expected would go out of her way to see me in my out-of-the-way office. And, truth be told, visual cognition isn't my strong suit. When my son was eight-years-old, I didn't recognize him either - since he was in costume and wearing his blond hair slicked back and dyed black. That was for a school play he was in. His face wasn't covered though and he was talking to me. But I thought he was just another kid at the school - one of many in a crowd - who knew me as a chess coach. It took me about half a minute to figure out who he was.

No, I'm not especially proud of this disability of mine. But I almost felt like telling Marilyn about this episode with my son and saying, "So I hope you don't feel too badly about this." But I let well enough alone and didn't end up chasing her down the hall to explain myself. Sometimes it's better just to cut one's losses and move on.

I found out, within a few years of leaving Marilyn's household, that she ended up marrying one of the roommates who lived there when I did, a guy named Mike. In fact, I had written about him briefly in my letter to Marilyn. I couldn't help but notice that they seemed very well suited for each other. He could make her laugh. He was also a better chess player than I was, and I also got him a job teaching chess in the summer of 2003. He and Steve both taught advanced classes. I felt good about that, since I felt deep down inside that he was a good man. Apparently, Marilyn thought so too.

Good for them both. Out of idle curiosity, I sometimes wonder if Marilyn struck it rich like she always dreamed. I also wonder how her Buddhist practice is going. For years, after moving out of her house, I couldn't stop thinking about her. But now I scarcely think of her at all. It's so true - time does heal all wounds. After all is said and done, I'm glad our lives intersected. Marilyn taught me a lot - especially about myself. She had a good, quick, unconventional mind and could be quite bold and committed when undertaking any activity near and dear to her heart. I'll always wish her well.


In closing

There is much I haven't shared here, but I think I got the most important parts. I had several motives in writing about this, but one in particular bears mentioning. When the SGI Chicago-area Director, Ethan Gelbaum, was digging into my background in the summer of 2013 - in the process of banning me from ever entering the SGI community center again - I'm sure my interaction with Marilyn came up. I'm also sure that SGI leaders and members were all too willing to give their version of what transpired. Which is sad, since none of them - not a single one (except Kathy) - ever bothered to speak to me about this. I just want to assure that my side of the story has a chance to be known.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steven Searle, just another member of the Virtual Sangha of the Lotus, and
former candidate for US President (in 2008 & 2012)

I was in Mohammad's cave when...

I was in Mohammad’s cave when the Archangel Gabriel embraced him. The story of the First Revelation is well-known. What are not so well-known are these:  the Prophet was not alone, nor was he aware that I was sitting not too far behind him. What is also not known is that he was not the first person embraced by Gabriel in that cave. I was.

One day before Mohammad arrived at the Cave of Hira for his historic encounter, I was alone in that very same cave. For it was my habit, as well as that of the Prophet, to seek out an isolated cave and mediate. As you can imagine, I was shocked to be embraced by this entity and ordered to “Read.” Unlike Mohammad, I knew how to read, so I asked, “What am I to read?” When I was presented with a vision of the holy text, the entity calling himself Gabriel (but how am I to know for sure?) once again said, “Read!”

And I said… “No.”

Here I will pause for a moment and tell you what is rarely even contemplated – there are people who actually say “No” to God, even when they’re sure It’s really God Who is trying to engage them. This should not surprise you, though, for do we not have free will? And does not God respect that? After all, He has His purposes, and (if it’s quite alright) so do I.

When I said “No,” the entity released me from its embrace and said no more. But I remained in that cave to think about what just happened. The next day, Mohammed enters. He did not notice me crouched in the back for he seemed preoccupied. It wasn’t long, though, until he was embraced as I had been. I didn’t see or hear anything, though I heard the Prophet’s replies.

That was back in the year 610 AD, over 1400 years ago. And I am still alive but Mohammad isn’t. [Maybe that is my punishment, though I don’t feel that way.] I go back as far as the Pharaohs, having even seen some of them from a distance. And I am not the only one like this; we even find each other on occasion. Being a recluse (I have my reasons), I always keep my distance from the celebrated and powerful.

Mohammad left the cave, still not having seen me. In the years that followed, we never spoke or made direct eye contact. From a distance, I followed his career and that of his faith, as I’ve followed the careers of others – genuine and false. To this day, I don’t know what had embraced Mohammad (and, earlier, me) in the Cave of Hira.

I’ve often wondered how Mohammad feels, from wherever he happens to be, about the Muslim community and the turns it’s taken. I guess I should say “Muslim communities” – for that seems to be the problem. Maybe it’s true, that which is written: All things fade over time.

The entity said to each of us that he was Gabriel. It’s not that I didn’t believe him – I didn’t care one way or the other. Other entities have beckoned me since then, and before then, but I’ve ignored them all – especially when they ask me to do something.

I can’t account for my long life except to say that maybe I am here only to be a witness. Actually, that’s quite a big job. Toward that end, I sometimes disguise myself to get closer to people. Once I even disguised myself as a Sunni Muslim and got quite close to members of one rural small community in Egypt in the early 1800’s.

I’d managed to save a bit of money to make the pilgrimage to Mecca, since it’s a prime religious obligation to do that at least once in a lifetime. I’d actually saved “a bit” several times, but I never went. As I’d prepare to go, without fail I would encounter some desperately poor family and would give them my money.

I hope that was alright.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steven Searle, just another member of the
Virtual Sangha of the Lotus and
former candidate for US President (in 2008 & 2012)

“                                            “ – Steve.

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com

The Prosperity Buddhists of the SGI

Breakdown

Today's essay consists of three sections, under these headings:

• What is a Prosperity Buddhist?

• Modifying the Basic Sales Pitch

• Some Anecdotes: Ten revealing episodes from my years as an SGI Buddhist.

What is a Prosperity Buddhist?

A Prosperity Christian is a "Christian" who believes that God wants him to be rich. A Prosperity Buddhist is a "Buddhist" who believes that his practice will make him rich. Many of the Buddhists I'd met during my years with the cult known as the SGI-USA (Soka Gakkai International - United States of America branch) fully believed that proper Buddhist practice, as defined by the SGI, would allow them to receive "material benefits." There were fewer, though still a sizable minority, who took this claim one step further: "I'm going to be a millionaire someday."

The latter group make sure their voices are heard during SGI public discussion meetings. And the members in attendance enthusiastically applaud their various rags-to-riches stories. I even heard one long-time member (himself Japanese - "oddly" enough) who tried to lend gravitas to the high-level leaders he'd met in Japan (SGI's home base) by saying, "Oh, all these guys are millionaires." The irony of all this is, the founder of SGI's brand of Buddhism was a 13th century Japanese monk, Nichiren, who spent his entire life in a state of homelessness living off the charity of others.

The concept of "benefit" is huge in SGI Buddhism. When new members are welcomed into the fold, they are told, "You can chant for anything you want." They are told, "You will receive benefits as the result of your practice." Of course, donating money and time to the organization are forms of "practice" (almsgiving) that would vastly increase the amount and earlier arrival of these benefits.

To be sure, there are scriptural references* that could be used to support such claims. However, the vast majority of other references* describe the truest benefit as being the attainment of Buddhahood itself. This is the highest goal, the greatest benefit, as detailed in the scripture which the SGI pays lip service (and only lip service) to being the greatest: The Lotus Sutra. This  greatest benefit" would, ironically enough to Prosperity Buddhists, come about by rejecting materialism in one's personal life and (instead) making sacrifices for others - these are among the practices encompassed by the six paramitas*.


Modifying the Basic Sales Pitch

The SGI philosophy is based on cause and effect. By putting out good causes in one's life, and reducing the number of seriously bad causes, a chanter can obtain anything he wants. We were told to try the practice for 100 days. If, by the end of that trial period, we felt we weren't getting at least some sign that there was something to this practice, then we'd be fools to continue. This period was likened to going to work for a new boss. The good causes you'd put out would be your diligent, positive, and successful efforts on behalf of your boss. You aren't paid immediately for each good cause you put out, but (rather) at the end of a pay period - typically two weeks. If you didn't get paid at that time, you'd know something was seriously wrong.

Emphasizing that chanters wouldn't be "paid immediately for each good cause" was meant to counter the expectation of immediate gratification.

Why 100 days, you might ask? That would be "enough" time to learn gongyo, though memorizing wasn't required. Gongyo is the chanting, in an ancient Chinese dialect, of certain portions of the Lotus Sutra. It was also enough time to attend SGI meetings and to engage in some of their activities (including lectures and study sessions) in order to learn more about the practice. At the time I first joined (in 1975), there were a lot of very good things the SGI had going for it - including a certain sense of destiny which I've described in some of my other essays. Plus, a lot of young people had been attracted to it. So...boys being boys and girls being girls, that was yet another good reason to stick with the philosophy.

But after a while, a sizable number of new members would start asking questions like, "I'm not getting what I want - in fact I got hit by a truck and broke my arm." As for the first part, the usual response would be, "When you chant, you either get what you want, something better, or you lose the desire for it due to you having become a better person." It was also mentioned that all good things take time, and that we shouldn't rush the gohonzon (the sacred scroll we prayed to). Also, you couldn't "just chant" to get what you want, you had to chant and take action - though your chanting would reveal to you what kind of action was needed. All of this served to at least buy time in order to give the practice a chance to work.

As for that truck: "Your negative karma, accumulated over millions of lifetimes, was the cause for that accident which should have killed you. Instead, you only got a broken arm, which was because your practice served to lessen your karmic retribution."

All of this is well and good, and can even be supported by the Lotus Sutra. The SGI chose to emphasize only selected portions of that Sutra, while ignoring the rest. Which is a pity, since the Lotus itself repeats many times that correct practice consists of reading, reciting, pondering, and teaching to others this Lotus Sutra (the whole thing, not just "selected portions"). SGI went even further - promoting the writings of their international president instead. But the worst punishments in the world of Buddhism are reserved for those who should know better. For that reason, I don't hold out much hope for a happy afterlife for SGI's top leaders.


Some Anecdotes

I will now offer some anecdotes from my days with the SGI-USA:


ONE:

In the mid-70s, I lived with three other Buddhists as roommates - all guys. One of them, Phil, completed his law degree around the time I left the SGI (which I rejoined in 1993). He was a member for at least 15 years that I know of. Out of curiosity, I googled his name recently. Turns out, he pleaded guilty to federal charges connected to his law practice and was sentenced, in August of 2013, to 60 months in prison. I remembered Phil as having put in a lot of time and effort into his SGI activities. I just cannot comprehend that he would have come to this - including losing his law license.

But prison itself doesn't have to mean the end of the world. I remember another Buddhist (of a different sect) going to prison. He used that as an opportunity to become a model prisoner by practicing his form of Buddhism "as if my hair were on fire." I pray that Phil decides to emulate this example.


TWO:

In the 90's, I was in a car with my district chief Dale, and two other members. He mentioned a new member who was chanting for his hand to grow back. I don't know if his loss was congenital or accidental. But he was determined to accomplish this "impossible dream." You might remember the musical The Man of La Mancha (Don Quixote), who sang "To dream the impossible dream." The SGI-USA adopted that theme, encouraging its members to dream bigger and more impossibly than their pre-SGI selves would dare imagine.

Dale kind of chuckled when talking about a hand being magically conjured up. His thinking was more along the lines of advancements in prosthetic science might come to the rescue. My thinking was: "Who are we to judge another member's earnest, heartfelt goals? To chuckle about their impracticality behind their backs?" We in the SGI are supposed to believe in miracles - not only believe in them, but come to expect them

Dale might or might not know this, since I doubt he read the Lotus Sutra even once, but in Chapter 23 that Sutra speaks of Bodhisattva Medicine King whose arms were burned off. He declared: "I am certain to attain the golden body of a buddha. If this is true and not false, then may my two arms become as they were before! [Immediately], his arms reappeared of themselves as they had been before."


THREE:

Back in the 90's, I was talking up an idea I had with a couple of SGI members in the Chicago Community Center. I knew that many members brought their young children to the Center, hoping they'd sit quietly as they themselves chanted. Sometimes, though, these chant sessions could be quite lengthy, giving rise to juvenile impatience. So I suggested that an empty room upstairs could be used for me to host, free of charge, a chess program for these kids so their parents wouldn't have to worry about them running around or being disruptive - or just plain bored.

A few of the members seemed agreeable. While not disagreeing, David Grilli said, "Chess is your thing." His context was, anything done in the Center should be Buddhist related. I didn't push it, but I thought: "And yet the SGI embraces the slogan that 'Buddhism is daily life.' And chess teaches certain life lessons that could be invaluable to the young. I should know: I'd been teaching chess for years as a volunteer in local schools."

But judging from David's demeanor, I could tell he'd already made up his mind. And that was enough to turn off the others who were present. I had one more thought about David's comment: "Back in 1975, the SGI strongly encouraged its Young Men's Division members to join its Brass Band, of which David Grilli was in charge. At the time, I didn't say, 'No thanks, that's your thing, not mine.'"

I had also run my idea by a senior leader who spoke to me one-on-one, after I had submitted my proposal in writing, even offering to provide all necessary equipment at no charge. His denial was based on the idea that the newly-completed Center on Wabash Avenue should have its rooms used for religious purposes only. [Sigh!] The Buddha taught that people could be encouraged in faith by a wide variety of skillful means, extending to those that weren't even related to Buddhism - though I suppose everything is in some way at least indirectly related.

This leader's response would have been better received by me had it not been obvious the man had been drinking the night before. His sleepy demeanor and body odor gave that much away. Not that the odor was overwhelming by any means, but since I grew up with an alcoholic father, I knew that smell - faint though it might have been from this particular individual.


FOUR:

Even among Buddhists, you'll find occasional examples of anger rearing its ugly head. Back in the 70's, we had a very popular and handsome leader we called "Homencho Jackson" - Homencho being his title within the Chicago organization. After the crowded meetings in which he was usually the final, featured speaker, he would lead the members in singing songs - the SGI versions of rah-rah stuff like "Onward, Christian soldiers." He led us by standing on two folding chairs - one foot on each chair - waving enthusiastically, while two volunteers braced the chairs for him so he wouldn't fall.

Later, I heard one of these lads talk about how important this task was, saying, "I'd feel sorry for anyone who let Homencho fall because he failed to steady the chair. A whole bunch of Young Men's Division members would start chasing after him." The idea being to kick his ass, to put it crudely. However, Buddhism teaches that each of us bears responsibility for his own actions. Maybe, if Homencho were ever to take a tumble, that might have been due to his karma. But he could avoid that fate by simply leading us in singing - without the use of chairs. The stage he was standing on was high enough for all of us to soak in his glory.

Years later, I found out Homencho Jackson had died of throat cancer. I thought, "Too bad, but he had that fate in his hands too - if only he would've decided to stop smoking like a chimney." Fellow members told me he chanted for four hours per day to beat his disease - not easy with throat cancer. I knew about members who had successfully chanted their way to back to health, even when faced with cancer.

I myself used my Buddhist practice (though not SGI's practice) in this manner. Even though I still have terminal Stage IV liver cancer, I beat my doctor's prediction (made 17 months ago) that I'd only have five to eight months to live. My cancer is 95% gone and my condition is stable. I made up my mind that I'd like to go to my doctor's office someday, only to see him look up from the latest CT scan and lab reports and ask, "Okay, Steve, what did you do with your cancer? It's all gone. Not a trace." That would be my "impossible dream," but you see: I firmly believe there are exceptions to even the strictest rules.


FIVE:

One of my impossible dreams I shared with my fellow members after a meeting in 2007. I announced that I was actively campaigning to be elected President of the United States in 2008. I said this in a district meeting of some 15 people in the district leader's house. We were always encouraged to aim high, so I thought President Steven Searle has a nice ring to it. After the meeting, the members were socializing and one young man walked up to me, asking if I was serious. So I gave him one of my campaign flyers, which he read on the spot. He seemed to like what he read and wished me luck. He was the only member, then and since, who ever showed any interest.

I never spoke about my campaign in any attempt to solicit volunteers or donations. I wanted to show what the power of faith could accomplish in terms of opening doors. Neither of my presidential campaigns ever developed any traction, but I still gained huge benefits for trying. Anyone reading the earlier posts on this site can see that I came up with a lot of highly plausible and creative ideas in the political realm. And that was my benefit: How much my mind opened up and showed a creativity unmatched earlier in my life. I was drawing inspiration from many sources, large and small, likely and unlikely.

But still, I thought it would have been really cool if at least one other SGI member had shown any kind of interest. I would have shared my vision of what being a Buddhist president would have been like. But I guess too many of the members were more interested in the material things SGI practice promised. And they might have been wondering, "Where are your millions?" To which I would have answered, "I never chased after money, things, or prestige, and yet I consider myself the wealthiest man on this planet, bar none.


SIX:

In the mid-seventies, I attended Sunday services in the Chicago Community Center on Lawrence Avenue, near Kimball. After the chanting was over, speeches were made including the giving of experiences. Members were encouraged to share with the group the benefits they obtained from their chanting. New members would be asked, in advance, to give an experience, though many of them would say, "I get a good vibe from the practice but I can't say I've actually gotten any benefits yet." To which they would be told, "Let me schedule you anyway. You know, giving an experience [testimonial], no matter how modest is a good cause for obtaining even greater benefits in the future."

On this particular Sunday, a young, very sullen looking black man found himself standing in front of a mostly white audience of members. And you could tell he didn't know what to say. After being introduced to thunderous applause, he stood there for a few moments, obviously thinking. He finally said, "I haven't been chanting long - for about two months." More thunderous applause. "Two weeks ago, I went for a walk and found a dollar on the sidewalk." More thunderous applause. Then, he seemed to "get it," for he followed up with, "Last week, I found two dollars on the sidewalk." And then he sat down to more thunderous applause.

We were always encouraged to warmly respond to any experience that was offered, especially by new members who needed encouragement in their fledgling practice. I wonder to this day, though, if that dollar-finder is still a member. Many members from the early days no longer practice, at least not with the SGI. But...there are reasons for that as I've detailed elsewhere on this blog.


SEVEN:

I always had a great admiration for one of the more internationally-known senior SGI leaders, a flamenco dancer by passion and profession - Pascual Olivera Jr. You couldn't find a better example of an enthusiastic and genuinely sincere SGI Buddhist than this very charming and engaging gentlemen. I had seen him in action a number of times during member activities I participated in. Always encouraging, always sunny. And his dancing was exquisite and inspired.

We never exchanged words, though it cannot be said we ever directly crossed paths - except once. He was a guest speaker at a district meeting I attended. When it came time for discussion after the chanting was over, I read from a list of points dealing with how I thought the SGI could improve. No one responded to any of these. But after the meeting, the lady of the house pulled me aside and said, "Steve, when you were reading those points, I looked at Pascual's face and I tell you - he was absolutely terrified at what you were saying."

I was surprised to hear this. But, consistent with my inability to generate dialogue within the SGI, this opportunity too passed without Pascual saying a single thing to me. Which is odd, since it is considered an SGI leader's job to refute the erroneous. Though perhaps I wasn't in error at all on that particular day.


EIGHT:

I saw Trinidad at a Christmas Party in the 90's, attended by a lot of SGI Buddhists. I remembered her from my early SGI days in the mid-70's, as this earnest high school student whose brother Carlos had also joined SGI. Well, about 20 years and four children later, Trinidad still looked pretty much the same - serene, happy, and enthusiastic. However, the one comment I heard her make saddened me: "I think this whole idea of SGI benefits was just something that was promoted in order to keep us going."

That was quite an amazing statement, since she had married the man who was our chapter leader. That's quite a karmic connection and I would consider that alone to have been a huge benefit. I didn't respond to her statement, since I only overheard it and wasn't its intended recipient. Still, I was curious: And what "keeps you going" as you chant these days?

I'm pretty sure she never read the Lotus Sutra, the text SGI is nominally based on. For if she had, she would have known how benefit is defined and obtained by practicing correctly. I felt she had never studied much about Buddhism above and beyond the over-simplified articles in SGI's organ publications. If she had started reading the Lotus Sutra right after this Christmas party, I'm sure she would have seen that she had been misled into practicing incorrectly all these years. Her heart was sincere, I'm sure, but good intentions alone aren't good enough. Perhaps she'll be lucky enough in the future to be drawn to reading the Lotus Sutra, and then correcting the errors of her practice.

It's never too late.


NINE:

Around the time I quit the SGI in 1977, I overhead my chapter chief talking to a friend, saying in a joking manner, "If this SGI thing doesn't work out, I could always beg my dad to take me in." I was always a little uneasy about Jeff and how he came across as superficial at best or an opportunist at worst. But I was amazed he'd actually put this into words where he could be overheard.

I couldn't help but think of a lot of members who sacrificed so much for so long, putting their lives on hold, hoping their efforts on behalf of the SGI would hasten the arrival of world peace due to the popularization of SGI's brand of Buddhism. Many of them, I suspect, didn't have the same kind of golden parachute Jeff had.


TEN:

I was reintroduced to Rick in the 90's, whom I had first met in the 70's when we were both new members. I remembered him as this joyful, vibrant young man who was in excellent physical condition. After one meeting, he walked on his hands, causing one member to exclaim, "Wow, this dude's in shape!" Which he was - young and full of vitality. In preparation for the 1976 Bicentennial Independence Day parade in New York City, in which we would march as members of the SGI Brass Band, he chanted one million daimoku. That means he chanted "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" one million times during the year preceding this monumental event.

We were all encouraged to chant more for the success of this parade, but few took up the challenge to chant 1,000,000 daimoku. When he finished his million, he told us and we believed him. To this day, I still believe him, for he seemed to honest and guileless. And he had nothing to gain by lying about such a thing.

But when I saw him again in the 90's, he seemed a shell of his former self. It turned out that he became a severe alcoholic, perhaps influenced by too much partying with his fellow members back in the heady days of the mid-70's. Rick bared recognized me and seemed like a walking zombie. Someone pointed out his wife to me, a very attractive but anguished Japanese woman. I felt so sorry for her, and for Rick of course, because he seemed past the point of no return in his addiction.

What happens to people, that causes them to sink so low? Was there no one in the SGI who tried to be there for him at any point when he started losing it? Rick deserved better than this, though I doubt he's still alive now. [Disclaimer: I would love to hear otherwise, that he had turned his life around and was living the life full of benefit which the SGI always promised.]

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Steven Searle, just another member of the Virtual Sangha of the Lotus and
former candidate for US President (in 2008 and 2012)

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com

Footnotes:

scriptural references* and references* - Here, I am referring solely to The Lotus Sutra venerated by Nichiren, founder of the SGI's brand of Buddhism, as the highest of the Buddhist scriptures. I am NOT referring to the writings of Nichiren himself or those of any past or present leaders of the SGI.

six paramitas* -  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C4%81ramit%C4%81

Opposi-tions compose the Universe

Introduction

I think I've figured out where "everything" comes from. It was over 20 years ago, during a hot August day in Chicago, when I wrote the following 830-word essay (while nursing a quart of Old Style beer). Personally, I believe this defies all known classification systems, but (please) judge that for yourself.

Here's a challenge: After reading, answer this question: Is this for real or is it some kind of joke?

What are Opposi-tions?

There's a hidden meaning behind the equation (+X) + (-X) = 0. If we think of zero as meaning "nothing," then the equation tells us that "nothing" has component parts which, when added together, give us "nothing." What are these component parts? I give the (+X) and the (-X) a special name: Opposi-tions (say uh-POZ-i-TIE-ahnz).

What is an Opposi-tion? Well, let's put it this way: Physicists can stop looking for the smallest sub-atomic particle, for what could be smaller than the building blocks of "nothing?" These most basic building blocks of all Creation exist in either of two forms: as Positive Opposi-tions (+X) or Negative Opposi-tions (-X). I call them Opposi-tions because the one type (+X) is opposite in nature to the other type (-X).

This is what we have so far: "If you have one Negative Opposi-tion and one Positive Opposi-tion, you can create one unit of nothingness (a single Voidic Atom) by adding them together." What do I mean by "adding them together?" This adding process is done by what I call the BAF - the Basic Additive Force. Well, since we have Opposi-tions of opposite nature, I guess we need an opposite to the BAF. I name this the Basic Subtractive Force (BSF). The BSF must be present to pull "nothing" apart; that is, to pull (+X)'s away from (-X)'s.

This is the only logical way we can start the process of Creation - with "nothing" to start with. However, a sufficient application of the BSF would soon give us a great number of "free" Opposi-tions to work with. Depending on how many of (and in what manner) these re-configure, specific members of the most basic group of sub-atomic particles are created. These, in turn, combine to form the sub-atomics we're familiar with. Once these larger particles are created, the familiar rules of physics come into play to finish the process of Creation.

This theory doesn't need a Big Bang to explain the creation of the universe. Perhaps Creation (and Un-Creation?) are processes still at work - at this very moment. If so, where does God (or, as some people call it, "the Law") fit in? Consider these possibilities:

ONE: God is Everything and Nothing.

That is, He's the essence of matter (in the forms of the two types of Opposi-tions) and He's the essence of energy (in the forms of the BAF and the BSF) and He's Nothing (when Opposi-tions are "added" together to form Voidic Atoms). This view is a form of neo-Pantheism. In order to consider God to be Everything (and, yes, Nothing is a part of Everything!), He has to, on occasion, manifest Himself as Nothing.

Consider God as a Force. When parts (or aspects) of this Force become restricted - as does energy "contained" in atoms, for instance - then this Force manifests itself as things - i.e., as particles of matter, not just as energy. Since "things" and energy are accounted for - and are the only "things" that make up the universe - Materialists can be satisfied with this first possibility.

TWO: He's only the BSF.

Without the BSF, only Nothing would exist (if "Nothing" can be said to "exist"). Since it seems that a lot of people don't feel pressured to explain where "Nothing" came from, calling the BSF "God" (a God that didn't have to create Nothing but only used it as raw material for creation) would be acceptable. This view is the closest to the traditional Judeo-Christian stance: God is a Thing which existed side-by-side with the Void, and then used "elements" of the Void (a usage we call Creation).

THREE: He just can't be the BSF.

Knowing that BSF stands for "Basic Subtractive Force" - also knowing that subtraction is a negative, "taking away" process - would prove to be bothersome to those who think of God as a positive, giving Thing. The very idea of negativity being the Cause of Creation seems to be sacrilegious. This view is closest to being superstitious and is based on know-nothingism.

FOUR: Perhaps He manifests Himself as both the BAF and the BSF.

Some people would insist on this "because" one of the powers of God must be the ability to create nothing from something as easily as to create something from nothing. If God were a duality, He could very well be both types of forces - the BAF and the BSF - simultaneously. A scientist would be the first to point out that, in nature, there is no such thing as a monopole - that is, for example, a magnet with only a south pole (or only a north pole). A logician would be the first to point out that there can be no "up" without a "down," no "in" without an "out," no "plus" without a "minus." Furthermore, "ups" and "downs" are not two separate things, but are aspects of one basic, primality.

This view is closest to being "fair" - or logically even-handed - or scientific - or even a manifestation of the Yin and Yang principle.

Conclusion

When I wrote this, I had fun doing so. And that's important, since religious contemplation too often tends to bring out a lot of dark heaviness. I hope you can at least see the humor in this piece. At most? I hope you can see its implications.

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Steven Searle, Just another member of the Virtual Sangha of the Lotus and
former Candidate for US President (in 2008 & 2012)

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com